Consent Policy & Incident Procedures

Seattle Ecstatica primarily hosts dance events. At these events, people mingle, move close together, brush past each other, and intentionally make and break contact constantly. By participating, you acknowledge that this is a physical environment and occasional brushes, bumps, or unintentional contact may occur.

Not every touch is a consent violation. And at the same time, how that contact happens, whether it’s wanted, and most importantly, how someone responds when it isn’t wanted, matters enormously.

This document explains what we do when something goes wrong. It’s the procedural companion to our Code of Conduct that explains more about our process for upholding the Code of Conduct and responding when it is breached.

When something feels off

If something happens that doesn’t feel okay, during the event or after, you have options. You don’t have to confront anyone directly and it’s ok if you’re not sure exactly what happened.

Options:

• Find a HeartTender (pink wristband). They are trained consent ambassadors who’s job is to support you emotionally and help you figure out next steps if needed.

• If you can’t find a HeartTender, speak with an organizer or the DJ. They’ll get you to the right person.

• Submit an incident report (anonymously if you prefer) before, during, or after the event.

How reports are handled

All reports go to the Consent Team: organizers Adnan, Noé, and Raiza, along with professional consent mediator Lux. We review everything as a team. We pay close attention to patterns over time, not just individual incidents.

We approach every situation assuming most harm is unintentional, and most people are capable of learning. That said, we don’t ignore behavior that keeps recurring.

Our goal is never punishment. It is preventing further harm and keeping this a space people can trust. Both the person who experienced harm and the person who caused it are treated with care throughout the process. We’re not perfect, and we as a Consent Team are continually learning and growing ourselves, but we do our best to collaboratively resolve incidents.

Anonymous reports

Anonymous reports are welcome. 

They help us track what’s happening in the space over time, and they matter even when we can’t act on them directly. Because we can’t verify details or follow up for clarification, anonymous reports generally don’t lead to direct action on their own. 

If we receive multiple anonymous reports describing similar concerning behavior from the same person, we may step in with a conversation, a reminder around our Code of Conduct, or have our HeartTenders keep an eye on the person named.

Named reports

When a report includes names and the person who reported is willing to engage in follow-up with us, we can take more specific action. We always consult with the person who filed the report before taking any action so we can center their preferences and concerns in our next steps.

The actions we may take depend on whether the incident reported is minor or major. 

Minor incidents include unwanted platonic touch or interaction, accidental touch (such as bumping into someone while dancing), and dances that are originally consensual but end up feeling more intimate than desired.

Responses to minor incidents may include:

• A conversation with the person named (with or without the person who reported) sharing feedback on the situation

• A mediation between both parties to resolve misunderstandings or facilitate relational repair

• Requests that the person named seek education to skill-up around consent

• A behavioral agreement for future events that may be monitored by our HeartTenders

Major incidents include unwanted sexual touch or interaction, a repeated pattern of minor incidents after feedback has been given, and situations where boundaries are clearly stated but then ignored, pushed back on, or crossed (including stalking and physical or sexual assault).

Responses to major incidents may include:

• Asking the person named to pause attending dance (or split dance nights with the person who reported) for 3-12 months while we work through the situation

• Requiring the person named to attend consent classes or seek therapy in order to have one second chance to return to the space and honor our code of conduct

• Facilitating a Restorative Justice process between both parties (if desired), with financial responsibility for the process resting on the person named

• In extreme cases, banning someone from the space with no pathway for repair

Our organizational boundary is that we will only act on behavior that occurs within Seattle Ecstatica events or in spaces that are directly connected to the community. Each situation is evaluated individually and we consider impact, patterns, power dynamics, and the safety of the broader community.

When we step in immediately

If something is happening in real time and safety is at risk, organizers or HeartTenders will step in without waiting for a report. This might mean separating people, asking someone to take a break from the floor, or asking someone to leave for the evening. Immediate intervention is like first-aid for stabilizing the situation, not making a final judgment. Whatever happens in the moment, a fuller process will follow.

Repeated behavior

We believe people can grow. We also believe the community’s safety comes first. If someone receives feedback about their behavior and the same pattern continues, our response will likely escalate. Escalation might include required consent education, a structured behavioral agreement, a temporary pause from attending, or removal from the space. The specific response depends on the nature of the behavior and what’s already been tried.

Zero tolerance

Intentional harm, sexual violence, and hate speech—including racism, homophobia, and transphobia—are not subject to the same graduated process. If you experience or witness any of these, contact a HeartTender or organizer immediately. Serious incidents may result in immediate removal and permanent exclusion from Seattle Ecstatica events. If sexual or physical abuse, or any criminal acts, happen to a community member outside the space, we may prevent the person causing harm from entering the space until further investigation.

Our commitment

We give people the benefit of the doubt, and we take harm seriously. On the one hand, we don’t rush to shame, cancel, or exile people. On the other we also don’t ignore behavior that keeps causing harm. We listen carefully, track patterns, intervene when necessary, and try to support everyone involved (including the person who caused harm) through a process that’s as fair and restorative as we can make it. We’re not a perfect team, and this isn’t a perfect process but we’re learning as we go, and we’re committed to getting better at it.

Scope

This policy applies to all Seattle Ecstatica events. Questions or concerns about the Consent Team or this process can be directed to consent@seattleecstatica.com.

Read our Code of Conduct for the full community agreements.

Read The Consent Culture We’re Building for the thinking behind all of this.